First of all, I wasn't drinking. And you don't need me to tell you that this was a colossal mistake. Being a fifth of vodka behind six hundred wildly dressed yuppies breaking it down white-boy style to Guns & Roses is not the makings of a fun night. And the reason I wasn’t drinking is because I’m just getting over a cold and my body and I have signed a temporary ceasefire in my slash and burn campaign of self-destructive behavior.
ASIDE: Normally I’d be just thrilled to make a fool of myself out there with everyone else, so I’m not being judgy, but as a result of abstaining last night I’m feeling healthier and am totally productive this morning, so I have no regrets. Also, Halloween is so insane here that it’s kind of nice to have sharp recollections of it for once.
Secondly, I made a really bad costume choice. This one is totally my fault and I’ll know better next year: Harry Potter. I know, I know, I realize it was a huge mistake. I decided to go with Harry because I like the movies (for some reason I never got around to reading the books) and also because it’s a subtle costume—I could just take off my glasses, rub off the lightening bolt scar, and look like a fairly normal, if slightly overdressed, person (I wasn’t wearing a scarf because I was going as “indoor” Harry). I decided to go with a subtle costume because my company threw a big Halloween party on Friday and I had meetings earlier in the day and thought that agents and authors wouldn’t be inspired with confidence if I showed up dressed as a Keebler elf with an axe jutting out of his forehead. Trouble was that Saturday night was no time for subtlety. I had approximately twenty people ask me why I wasn’t dressed up. Do you think I usually walk around with a faint eyeliner-etched scar on my forehead and lens-less glasses? The guy in a full body Elmo costume wasn’t buying it, and frankly I don’t blame him.
ASIDE: Best Costume: guy dressed as Mac from “Super Troopers,” man, what a hilarious movie, and this guy was rocking his costume. Honorable Mentions: guy dressed as Alex from “A Clockwork Orange” and my friend Alessandra who was awesome as Uma’s character from “Pulp Fiction” complete with syringe puncture.
Thirdly, there were just far too many people in this bar. It was more crowded that the most packed frat party I’ve ever been to and this was made worst by the fact that everyone was so dressed up. I nearly lost an eye to a pair of angel/pixie/butterfly/flying monkey wings on several occasions and I witnessed at least three drinks being taken out by cowboy hats. At any given time there were at least 40 guys waiting for the men’s room, and you don’t even want to know about the women’s line.
It will relieve you to learn that I’m not the only one concerned about this, and urban planners, developers, and politicians have amazing plans in store for us. A couple months ago New York Magazine went into a lot of detail about what we can look forward to. The articles are really fascinating, and I think the key element is that a lot of the construction is going to take place in the outer boroughs. Outer boroughs get such short shrift compared to
You can read the article here, and don’t worry, there are lots of pretty pictures.
