Sunday, November 19, 2006

Jury Duty

Having postponed jury duty twice, I had no choice but to show up to 60 Centre Street at 8:45 on Tuesday morning. There's actually a nasty little notation on my summons that read POSTPONED 2X--MUST SERVE. I had this scene all planned out where the cleric would look at my summons and snark "Thanks for showing up this time, sir." And I'd snark right back without missing a beat, "Thanks for scheduling me for a time when I'm actually in this time zone, bitch." Alas, it didn't come to that. But weird (ultimately) unavoidable things like this always makes me very anxious because 1) I fear the unfamilar 2) I hate doing things by myself and 3) the potential of my actions indelibly affecting someone else's life makes me really uncomfortable. I also feel semi-autistic in situations like these because I'm not that great at interacting with strangers. I have a congenital case of Stranger Danger.

Ostensibly, everyone on jury duty is in the same boat--not knowing anyone else and feeling somewhat resentful for being there in the first place. It's like the first day of kindergarten, only with bigger chairs. It's a great social leveler, and you can expect to meet people from a broad cross section of society. This is what makes our justice system so infallible. But I'd really like to know how people leave the waiting room at the end of the day with new found friends.

There were these four women sitting in front of me who all went out to lunch together the very first day. They were all laughing and joking with each other the whole time. I was in the elevator when they on their way to lunch (they were heading to some Chinese restaurant behind the courthouse, in case you need details) and one of the ladies said "Hey, remember when Nadia answered her cell phone and Lynn was like, 'that's my ring, too!' and then the proctor yelled at us, but we thought it was because Lynn was so loud, and not because Nadia was on the cell phone? Wasn't that funny?" Then all the women laughed, heartily agreeing that it was, indeed, funny (it was merely annoying from where I was sitting, but I guess that's my problem). I mean, am I wrong in assuming that these people only met four hours ago? Is that really enough time to have a "Hey, remember?" story? At this rate they will have slept with each other's husbands by mid afternoon. Also, do you think they had some kind of chromosomal disorder?

QUESTION: Do you think stupid people are more or less likely to find someone guilty? I think more likely, because while they're more susceptible to that silver-tongued defense attorney, they're also very angry because the world confuses them and someone must pay.

Anyway, the important thing is that I didn't get picked for any trials and that I've fulfilled my civic duty. The earliest they can call me in again in 2009, and I'm sure they won't waste any time because they've already established that I'm a sucker for showing up in the first place.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Imperial Life in the Emerald City

First of all--what a great title, right? While I'd love to take the credit, Imperial Life in the Emerald City is a fantastic book by Rajiv Chandrasekaran from Knopf. But don't just take my word for it, this puppy's been nominated for a National Book Award. Now what is the Emerald City, you may ask? Well, I would tell you, it's Green Zone in Baghdad--everyone's favorite war torn metropolis.

As you'd expect, it's a lambasting of the American (mis)management of Iraq in the months following the invasion. There are countless details about some of the dozens of bureaucratic clusterfucks that characterized the occupation, and they're all fascinating in a tragi-comic way. But Chandrasekaran also interviews dozens of Iraqis, and this really helps to remind us that this isn't merely some kind of inept social experiment or foreign policy gone wild, but people's lives that are being ruined. He really does a great (and relatively well-balanced) job at examining the positions of many different factions .

But don't for a moment think that he's saying that all the Americans there are malacious idiots. In fact this was the element of the book that most stuck with me--and that was how most of the Americans were depicted as being really innocent and blinded by their ideological good intentions. This was another real tragedy--that so many of these people gave their hearts (and often their lives) to rebuilding Iraq in America's image without being able seeing the forest from the trees.

Of course, this simply means that they weren't suited to the job, and never should have been send eight thousand miles away to rebuild a country they knew nothing about. Chandrasekaran makes it clear that the only qualification shared by the majority of the folks sent down there by Uncle Sam were that they were well connected neo-conservatives. In one case a 24-year-old was put in charge of reopening Baghdad's stock exchange (when I was 24 I was busy answering phones and photocopying--but don't think for a moment that I was less qualified than this kid).

No matter what your position on the war, this is a really interesting read. I feel sad for everyone involved--sure, some were more responsible than others, but in retrospect it's very easy to see what a little more effort at mutual understanding and appreciation of the big picture could have achieved. Here's to hoping we'll fare better in North Korea and Iran!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Hush Plane

Having spent entirely too much time on planes over the past few days, I was pleased to read that a team of researchers are working on a silent and extremely fuel efficient aircraft. Less noise and less fossil fuel use! Everyone wins (except Middle Eastern dictators)! The innovative design blends the fuselage and wings, making it amazingly streamlined and a dead ringer for Queen Amidala’s spaceship. Unfortunately, the plane isn’t expected to be built until 2030, which is too bad because I plan to have a personal rocketpack by then and will no longer be flying commerically. Read about it.


ASIDE: I haven’t flown JetBlue in ages, and I had a great time. DirectTV, animal crackers, leather seats, friendly stewardesses, tons of leg room. Oh, and it’s really cheap.